In Time...

Today didn't start off as just any Friday. 
Today I woke up in my husband's bed in his childhood room at his grandfather's. 
Said room now holds wedding photos and an extra pack 'n' play. 

My husband wasn't there. 

It's that lovely time of year again. Bi-annual "outage season". It means long hours and too many days in a row. 

He started working (2 hours away) in early September. 8 hour days, 5 days a week. Completely manageable - he was home every day by 5:30 (although I felt bad that he had to wake up around 3:00/3:30 am). 

On September 23rd we celebrated Benjamin's 1st Birthday - and that night we hurried to pack everything from the party away, semi-organize the kitchen, and prepare/pack everything Sam would need for the next four weeks so he wouldn't have to rush the following morning. 

We're blessed that he is able to stay at his grandfather's when he works at this location. It means we have a comfortable place to stay, too much food, and time with family. However, I've been struggling much more than usual this time around. 

My fearless one year old

 Wednesday is the day we pack up and leave to see Sam. For some reason, Benjamin chooses THAT day to scream....relentlessly. Longest. Day. Ever. We plan arrival time to coincide with Sam's. We are all so tired by that time it's all we can do to eat and make small talk before bed. I'm usually feeling relatively grumpy - until I at least see my husband's smiling face. Thursday is a very long day...HOW do I entertain my curious toddler without tearing Grandpa's house to pieces?! Usually, that's a shopping/getting lost in Hermitage day. Friday is when it settles in.... Sam leave at 5am. I try to get in a few more hours of sleep. Then it's time to get ready, pack up, and leave.  I remember totaling the hours we would spend together. I think it added up to less than 24 hours in 4 weeks.

"building" a birthday present

Every week the drive feels longer and I feel the dread of an empty home and the anxiety of knowing it'll be *so many days* till we see each other again. My heart breaks when our little boy frantically climbs up to my lap every time the phone rings to see who it is, giggling away, hoping it's his "Papa". Maybe I'm more sad for their bond than mine? I don't know. We're halfway through it and headed for a much needed weekend for just Mama and Papa at the end of the month.Then there is also the very real anxiety I have with waiting for news of a safe trip to work and a safe return home. 

I've been trying to put this in perspective. My husband is not in the military - deployed. He is not on the other end of the country battling cancer, He is here. He is alive. He WILL return home. He is only doing his best to provide for our family - I know that this is equally hard for him - long hours, far from home, his wife and baby boy who adores him. I need to put this in perspective - all day - every day. 

In due time....half way there....

Snow Tires and The Lord

In case you were wondering, my title subjects aren't exactly related- although the Lord certainly was with us during travel tonight.

He walked on water...I doubt he needed snow tires ;-)

Anyway- this evening did not go exactly as I had planned. What had I planned? I planned to go to my Tastefully Simple party in East Brady (I was the consultant). I was going to leave my baby home with his Poppa- all warm and snuggly to spend quality time together. I was going to make money just by letting people taste food. Come home. Sleep tight.

What really happened....

Dayton- February 2010

A snow storm happened...leaving me several miles from where I needed to be (late to start with) and turning around. VERY embarrassing... this is my business! However, I have a little boy and a husband at home who need me around a little while longer. Heck, I'll go as far as to assume they like me! 2 miles of twisty road and sharp turns didn't seem worth the risk as bad as it was coming down...and not letting up. I drove route 268 back to Walmart with my 4-ways on while my darling husband took Benjamin to his Nana's while Poppa came to rescue me. Don't put your faith in a job...it's just a job and can go as quickly as it came. Lesson learned. Again.

During the course of the evening, I was led to think on something else: 

During each of our lives, we change- several times. Sometimes we change for the better. Sometimes we change for worse and sometimes we change our shirts four times in one day because we may have a baby who likes to throw up on everything we own...and that's ok.

What's not ok is being expected to keep quiet when you change for the better...you know...just in case you hurt someone's feelings. Just because that happens, does not mean it was the mission. Guess what- when people are told what is right from wrong, feelings get hurt. It's what you do with that new information and those emotions later on...that's what counts. My responsibility it not to politely stand by and tolerate immorality and misconceptions. As Christians, our responsibility is to be lovingly intolerant (I suggest reading "Be Intolerant" by Ryan Dobson). If we stand by and tolerate what is wrong and against God, then how are we going to respond to Him when he "calls us out" on it? In a perfect world, we would do this all the time. Usually, there's going to be a point (actually, several) where we are going to say "You know, what they said was wrong. Why didn't I say anything?" All we can do after that is ask for forgiveness and do better the next time.

Another thing that is not ok is "blaming" someone I love for making me this way. As if to say, "How dare he help make you a better person who is willfully trying to follow God!" My thoughts and actions are my own. Implying otherwise is insulting to my own intelligence and free will. It also insinuates that there are ultimatums or "conditions" to our relationship. It makes me a little angry, but more sad that I'm not considered able to think for myself.

What interests me, and frustrates me, is when I'm told the Bible was "never meant to be understood.....to understand that would be to understand the mind of God.....etc., etc,....". I used to think like this. To be honest, I thought like this because I was taught like this. Too prevalent in the Catholic church is a lack of Bible reading in the homes. By no means does this apply to ALL Catholics- I know better than that! This isn't even just the Catholic church- it happens everywhere- I can only speak from personal experience though.

If we read the Word of God with open hearts and minds, we WILL understand! Some things aren't as easily understood as others- those things will make sense to us when we're ready to understand (or when the time is right). If it was never meant to be understood, then why was it given to us, with commands, expectations, etc., to live by? WHY would the Lord give us something that we can't understand? He WANTS us to know His Word and live by his commands!

Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be a scholar to read and understand. It does help, if you're familiar with the customs and ways of the people of the times. Not "a lot" was lost in translation as I was always told. I've found this has been a response by those who don't appreciate being told they're wrong- this being that, if they accepted what the Bible says as true, then they would have to change their ways and/or worldview. As I wrote earlier- no one likes being told they're wrong (I know I don't)!

I know that in our home:

: reading the Bible will happen as a family and will be encouraged (expected, I should say)!

: Our children will be raised in a Godly home. This won't happen overnight. It is something that Sam and I will learn to teach and live as we grow in our marriage and our faith- as we learn to be examples to our children, our families and those that we encounter every day (we have a ways to go, but I'm hopeful that we're on the right path). 

: Those who enter our home need to check the use of the Lord's name in vain at the door....but please don't pick it back up when you leave!

: if you DO use the Lord's name, you had best be praying (I need that on a plaque on our porch! lol)

: our children will not be exposed to or permitted to watch/listen to movies, cartoons, music, etc. that glorify immoral behavior. This is not sheltering them. Besides, even if it is, why would anyone WANT to expose their children to that. Are we naive enough to think it will never happen? Of course not!

This is not a rant or meant as an insult. This is a promise to my family. A promise that we will raise them the way God expects, within the best of our ability. When that isn't good enough, then our abilities need to be better!

Jesus love ME?! =)

laundry or blog?

Baby is sleeping...dishes are done....but my laundry is crying out to be folded. 

What should I do? 

Blog- obviously. 

I've been wondering what I can do in my day to keep me on track with what I SHOULD be doing in my life and possibly, inspire others (or at least amuse them). In September, my husband and I began our journey in parenthood. This is the most rewarding (and tear-filled) experience I've ever had. What has filled the majority of our parenting discussions is "What do we want to teach our children?" 


Being Benjamin's parents is beyond feeding him, getting spit-up on, buying cute clothes and making sure he wears a hat when it's cold out...even though he hates having them put on. Being his parents requires that we raise him to love and know God. 


It would be easy to read him his children's Bible, teach him "Now I lay me down to sleep..." and just go to church on Sundays. Sounds simple enough and we could do this easily. However, it's not about what's easy. 


Raising our son to follow the right path is so much more than that. It's being examples of faith and love- EVERY DAY! It means keeping our language in check and reminding those around us to do the same. It means monitoring what they watch and even what we watch without the children. It means BEING the church, not just showing up on Sundays- participating in activities, building friendships and living our faith with our church family. It means teaching him about family, respect, social responsibility and having parents who express love through words and deeds. 


Sam writes a message under the theme of  "Stewardship" for every Sunday service. This week, he spoke on Proverbs 22:6 - "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Pretty powerful stuff, right? As Sam said in his message, our children reap what we sow. What will our children inherit from us? It's exhausting just to think about! We're learning by practicing these things every day, they become our nature- not something forced and sometimes forgotten (ok, I take back that last part...we're human and don't always think/say/do what we know we should...we're working on it!)


I've always loved writing...as much as I love music. I thought this might be a good way to keep my thoughts in order, learn from others and feel "semi" productive. Check back from time to time. See what we're up to! I'm also revisiting the world of craftiness so I'll probably be sharing some of that too! 


...time to go match up a gazillion little baby socks....

Benjamin says "arrrgghh!"